Sarah Potter Writes

Pursued by the Muses of prose and poetry

Autumn haiku #3

October, midday.
Sun fights for supremacy;
mist remains stubborn.

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11 thoughts on “Autumn haiku #3

  1. Really lovely, Sarah. That is a perfect description of autumn in Seattle!

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  2. Nice work! My planet of origin is, oh nevermind, it’s too many letters to type in one day, lol. I tagged you and forgot to say so but if you don’t want to join in, that’s fine, Sarah, sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t 🙂 Details are here http://auroramorealist.wordpress.com/2012/10/16/what-is-a-blogathon-you-might-well-ask-lol/

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  3. A very fine piece. We don’t really have mists here – I suppose it is because the landscape is so rugged. I would imagine where you are you get sea mists too?

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    • Having been misty here for five days, at last the sun has broken through (of course, this happened the moment I got back into the house from a long, grey walk).

      I think I’ll be weird and put on a thick jumper and have my lunch outside, but I doubt anyone else will be joining me.

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  4. very lovely ku, Sarah!
    Ciao, Francina

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  5. The tension I try to put is there…and the doubt…will the mist really be able to hold out? Do we want it to? I do have also a battle with 5-7-5, and will try to come back on board with it…I’m still not convinced, though when I see it in action here it seems to flow superbly – and differently, then any number..

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    • I like the discipline of 5-7-5, as it leaves no room for adverbs or extraneous adjectives. Also, I usually compose my haikus while out walking the dog, so 17 syllables are quite enough to carry home in my head. I could take out a pen and paper with me, but its a good mental exercise to meditate on the words, retain them, and carry them home to write down (even when people talk to me on the way). I think that a strict adherence to a syllable count has made me a much more disciplined prose writer, too. Have you tried writing a tanka with 5-7-5-7-7? I’ve posted one on my blog, but need to study the form further before writing anymore, as they often include simile, metaphor. and personification, amongst other things not used so much in haiku?

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      • What a wonderful line – about composing in your head while walking – and yes, walking’s best! I also agree with the connection between writing haiku and prose writing – even ones that are not formatted well.Yes – those artificial adjectives, and silly adverbs! Well..I’l try the tanka…looks like too much work though!

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      • What a wonderful line – about composing in your head while walking – and yes, walking’s best! I also agree with the connection between writing haiku and prose writing – even ones that are not formatted well.Yes – those artificial adjectives, and silly adverbs! Well..I’l try the tanka…looks like too much work though!

        Like

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