Friday Fictioneers — Lipstick and High Heels

Genre: Mainstream fiction
Word Count: 100

~~LIPSTICK AND HIGH HEELS~~

“Lunar, my dear, you’ve a heavenly body but, for heaven’s sake, keep your mouth shut in front of my parents.”

“What’s it worth?”

“My everlasting love.”

“Liar! All you care about is your inheritance.”

“Not so. I just don’t want my snot-bag of a sister getting her hands on the money.”

“What if she’s at the dinner party, too, and wants to engage in girl-talk.”

“She doesn’t do girl-talk. …Look, it’s essential that my parents don’t get wind of my sexuality, or they won’t leave me a penny.”

“I can’t wait to kick off these stilettos and become Michael again.”

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 Friday Fictioneers: 100 word stories
Photo Prompt: image copyright © Dale Rogerson

Friday Fictioneers — She Needs Glasses

auto-aftermath

Genre: Humour
Word count: 100

~~SHE NEEDS GLASSES~~

That idiot human has just demolished my home and scattered my babies to the wind. I’ve lived here forever, festooning the wing mirror on the passenger side of the car with webs built to ensnare a bountiful roadkill of gnats and resist a driving speed of 70 mph.

The Idiot isn’t car-proud and only washes her steel beast once or twice a year, at which time I reel in the main lines of my webs and retreat to safety behind the mirror cover casing.

My size makes me easy to overlook, but a giant brick pillar is quite another matter.

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Friday Fictioneers: 100 word stories
Photo Prompt: Image copyright © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

#Dodoitsu 01 — The Rainbow

Time for me to introduce you to a form of Japanese poetry that was new to me, until BillyBuc at Artistry with Words mentioned it in a recent post. Thanks, Billy, and I’m sure you won’t mind if I quote you here:-)

Dodoitsu is a Japanese poetic form where the focus is on syllables instead of rhyme or meter.  Dodoitsu is a four-line poem which has seven syllables in each of the first three lines, and five syllables in the final line.  Traditionally, the Dodoitsu focuses on work or love, and it usually has a humorous twist.

So here you are, my first attempt at writing something in a Japanese poetic form other than haiku and tanka (though my US cousins might prefer to replace the word “moulded” with “molded”) …

Through the window, a rainbow
she is desperate to share.
Moulded in cushion comfort,
he prefers his tea.

February’s Guest Storyteller, Ana Spoke

AnaSpokeAna Spoke is a self-published author and an unbridled enthusiast. She currently calls Australia home, but you can always find her on anaspoke.com

FINAL COVER September 5

Sarah says: I’m delighted to welcome Ana as this month’s guest storyteller to share with us a snippet from her hilarious chic-lit novel, Shizzle, Inc.

Here are a few comments from my review of her book on Goodreads and Amazon, where I awarded it five stars.

This  humour novel is quite different from my normal reading material, but then that’s probably because it is quite different, full stop! …Initially, I decided to read it because the author connected with me via blogging and I admired her sense of direction re Indie publishing. …This début novel is the first in an intended series and I fully confess to looking forward to the next of Isa Maxwell’s escapades. …Shizzle, Inc kept me so fully engaged for a long train journey, that my fellow passengers failed to annoy me with their mobile phones and loud talking. Normally, I get very easily distracted and tense under such circumstances. Instead, I ended up smiling … a lot. 

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Fifteen minutes of fame is all Isa needs to win back her boyfriend and pay her debts. She might just get it. It might just kill her.
 
Extract from Shizzle, Inc

 

That should’ve been the end of this story, but God bestowed me with a third miracle that day. This one came in the form of a huge trash pile.

That particular stretch of the highway shoulder happened to be the city’s most popular illegal dumping spot. Over the years, it had become a landmark, with locals giving direction to their homes as “the first exit after The Tip”. The Tip was enormous. Its humble beginnings were in just one man’s refusal to pay for municipal services, but it grew quickly, as others used the excuse of “everyone’s doing it”.

At first, the city council kept trying to clean up the mess, but this only encouraged residents to dump again. Fines didn’t work either, as the officers trying to issue them were regularly assaulted, pelleted by rotten tomatoes, or even thrown into the trash pile. The city tried to organize a volunteer clean-up program, but nobody volunteered. The problem was exacerbated by the homeless, who took up residence in the valleys of The Tip and adamantly protected their territory.

On the day when I flew head-first into the sprawling landscape of mattresses and garbage bags, the city was trying out a new “zero tolerance” policy. The idea was that after a few weeks of living with a stinking fly- and rat-infested pile, the locals would come to their senses and start using dedicated bins. The exercise proved yet again how out of touch the government was with their constituents. The locals objected, staged protests, signed petitions and condemned the council officers as ‘dirty pigs’, but did not stop dumping. In the end, I owed those council pigs and stubborn citizens my life. Thanks to the extra layer of freshly deposited garbage, I did not break my neck and got away with just a concussion and severe blood poisoning.

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You can find the links to previous guest storyteller posts at