Sarah Potter Writes

Pursued by the Muses of prose and poetry

Friday Fictioneers — The Deal

Genre: Fiction
Word Count: 100

~~THE DEAL~~

When my name was Humphrey, I had Aspergers and lived in a room with closed curtains. My mother bought me pizza with carrot and jam topping every day.

When I became Jared, I still had Aspergers and lived in my room, but belonged to a worldwide community that appointed me their hacker-in-chief.

Now I’m in a strange room with bars on the windows and no curtains. A man says to me, “Humphrey, you have two options. Either you go to prison, or you work for us.”

“Will you bring me pizza with carrot and jam topping every day?” I ask.

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Friday Fictioneers: 100 word stories
Photo Prompt: copyright © Sandra Crook

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48 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers — The Deal

  1. That opening phrase, “When my name was Humphrey,” was an intriguing hook. Well done.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. A man with simple tastes…rare in this world today. 🙂 Loved the twist at the end.

    I hope this finds you well and enjoying spring weather. It is time for this man to get busy. Customers are calling.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Most rare indeed! I’m glad you loved the twist. The weather is middling here. I’ve had to go back to wearing a coat out walking this week. Slightly cool. The odd shower. But the garden is looking very pretty, even under those grey skies. It’s good to have customers. May they keep calling you 🙂

      Like

  3. To him, life is not complicated, is it? I, too, loved your entry into this tale!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. That was clever, and a bit uncomfortable

    Liked by 4 people

  5. Clever take, although a shame he seems to be being taken advantage of by some shady government agency at the end. Still, pizza is a good thing 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Masterful job, Sarah! I simply can’t seem to get your kind of hooks in under 2,000 words. Then again, I’m one of those career dilettantes who never practices. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • I didn’t find it very easy at first, but have kept practicing. It takes me an hour or two to knock each story into shape. “The Deal” started out as 197 words in length, which meant I had almost halve it. This involved a great deal of contemplation about what its core elements were and what was padding. Your writing is much more literary than mine, which probably makes it harder to condense down as every word as it hatches is beautiful and necessary!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. An interesting view into Asberger’s Syndrome.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. What a great opening line. Doesn’t appear as though he has any choice

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Interesting tale! Well done.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Looks like pizza with carrot and jam topping are essential for world domination. The mysterious Humphrey/Jared must have special skills indeed.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. A sad story of how he has been taking for a ride but apparently it is one ride he seems not to mind at all as long as he gets his…
    Beautifully crafted right from the opening line. A pleasure, as is always, Sarah.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Life Lessons of a Dog Lover on said:

    I agree that first line really drew me in. I love the simplicity of this which echoes his world view.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Ah.. this reminds me a bit of the film Nikita… I guess that the secret organizations are always looking for the special talents… I’m sure he can get Pizza and call himself CuddlyBear if he does the right things.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’ve not seen that film. I did watch the film “Catch Me If You Can”, starring Leonardo Di Caprio, which was the true story of con artist Frank Abagnale Jr, who ended up working for the FBI to catch other con artists.

      Like

  14. Very intriguing story and great twist – I’m sure they’ll be happy to give him his requests if he does something no doubt very dodgy…

    Liked by 1 person

  15. They should have sent him to the Blackwell Institute. That would toughen him up a bit and improve the negotiation skills. I bet he’s a talented hacker.

    Liked by 2 people

  16. The poor man will probably be happy eas long as they feed him right.

    Liked by 2 people

  17. Carrot and jam pizza? Well, I suppose I do like ham and pineapple on my pizza, so why not? A nice little tale, Sarah.

    Liked by 3 people

  18. Such an interesting take on the prompt! I like the character. He sounds cool!

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Dear Sarah,

    Once more with feeling. 😉 This story puts me in mind of the movie Spider with Ralph Fiennes only, perhaps not as creepy.

    At any rate, you’ve created a fascinating character and left me wanting to know more.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 2 people

    • Dear Rochelle,
      I need to check out that movie, as haven’t seen it.
      The character has fascinated me, too. He might have to appear in a novel one day even, as I keep on thinking about him, so you never know…
      All best wishes,
      Sarah

      Like

  20. Always good to know what your demands are.

    Liked by 2 people

  21. Carrot and Jam Pizza. Odd. Whatever makes you happy though. :o)

    Liked by 2 people

  22. Terrific! Almost poetically sinister. And tragic.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you, Sandra 🙂 I like that description of “poetically sinister”. Sadly, people like Humphrey, who are naive on one level and brilliant on another, are magnets for those who like to manipulate and exploit.

      Like

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