Sarah Potter Writes

Pursued by the Muses of prose and poetry

Friday Fictioneers — Unholy Epitaph

Genre: Dark humor
Word Count: 100

~~UNHOLY EPITAPH~~

hic iacet sepultus

DOMINIC SEAMUS HEGGARTY
a gardener who loved Nature minus Man.

Born in Islington, June 13th 1836
Died December 27th 1891

Bastard son of Michael de Humpe, VIIIth Earl of Stitchbury
 who cavorted with Molly Frimble, an unfortunate, and contracted the French disease and died most horribly of raging insanity,
thereby bestowing upon his beloved illegitimate son nothing of note other than an unconsecrated burial plot at the far end of his Estate,
for when his own time of passing came, alongside Molly,
dispatched to the afterlife by Lady Stitchbury in a fit of apoplexy.

requiescant in pace

<><><>

Friday Fictioneers: 100 word stories
Photo Prompt: copyright © Liz Young

 

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41 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers — Unholy Epitaph

  1. This was hilariously great, Sarah! You said you were going funny but I was certainly not expecting something of this sort! Loved it!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dear Sarah,

    There’s a whole story on the tombstone. Hilarious. What Dale said and more. Love it. 😀

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 2 people

    • Dear Rochelle,
      See, I have a big smile 😀 I’m so happy that you and Dale loved this story. And I did promise not to write anything miserable…
      Yesterday was such fun. My son commented that I sounded as if I was enjoying myself, with all the chatter and laughter coming from Skype.
      All best wishes,
      Sarah

      Like

  3. A little history, a little entertainment, some fine writing, and some great laughs. A thoroughly enjoyable read, Sarah!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. oh you are too funny!! Love the names and horrible afflictions!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, indeed, they are mightily foul afflictions! Some of the Victorian names for things were so entertaining, especially when they were trying to find respectable terminology to describe non-respectable things.

      Like

  5. michael1148humphris on said:

    I am jealous, loved how you put this epithet together. Spot on.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. A respite from misery was extremely welcome. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    • It’s my mission just now, to cheer up people (and cheer myself, too) with quirky humour. I can’t guarantee that every week the literary muse will react that way to the prompts, but I’ve managed 3 weeks of humour so far!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Love this, the tone is right, the French disease and the insanity, all perfectly played for the poor bastard son.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. A product of Humpe & Frimble. What great names. I suppose a Stitchbury in time saved nine more unfortunate illegitimates from being conceived. HA! Hilarious romp.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. I do love a grave stone although this was less grave than most!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I used to be a bit of a serial epitaph reader in graveyards. Occasionally some of them contained a hint of wry humour. My daughter has told me that she wants “It seemed like a good idea at the time” inscribed on her grave when the time comes!

      Liked by 2 people

  10. This is so funny! Loved it.

    Liked by 3 people

  11. One can only hope they’ll find some sort of peace—or should I say sanity— in the hereafter! Especially after Lady S joins them.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Imagine if every tombstone told the whole story. If your life’s transgressions were to be written on your tombstone, would you change anything? Interesting question. I think my karma is in OK shape. This was a fun read.
    Tracey

    Liked by 3 people

  13. Hilarious! I wish all epitphs were that humourous.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Brilliant. LOL. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  15. This is a hoot! A fit of apoplexy! Very funny.

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Dang! Talk about marked!

    Liked by 2 people

  17. Lady Statchbury had good reason for her fit of apoplexy.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I think that Victorian women of the noble classes, were meant to turn a blind eye to their husband’s lapses into immorality. Just as well the Earl of Stitchbury didn’t infect his wife with the French Disease he’d contracted, as I’m sure that some straying husbands did!

      Like

  18. Love the dark humour!

    Liked by 2 people

  19. I loved the humour in this Sarah – great use of language to really get me into the period 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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