This week I’m going to post my 100-word story for Friday Fictioneers on a Wednesday, which is what many of the other participants do anyway! Many thanks to our wonderful hostess, Rochelle, for using my snow picture as the photo prompt.
My story is an excerpt from my unpublished fifth novel, Counting Magpies, which is presently in the hands of my beta-reader-in-chief. There’s quite a bit of snow in this novel, but I selected this short passage, which works as a standalone, too … I hope.
Genre: Dystopian speculative fiction
Word count: 100
SNOW BABY
I’m her scapegoat for all that has gone wrong in our world.
When she bled a fortnight ago, after three months of believing herself with child, her wailing and lamenting crushed me. I don’t understand her desperation to make a baby. Until yesterday, I didn’t even know what babies looked like.
She drew a picture of one in the snow and told me that’s how we both started out, with tiny round faces and miniature toes and fingers. “I can’t remember being a baby,” I’d said, to which she’d replied, “Neither can I, but I crave motherhood more than anything.”
The power of suggestion…you had me checking the calendar even thought I was certain it was still Wednesday. LOL I love these little shorts, so carry on, no matter what day it is.
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Just now, I got confused, too. I usually do my ironing on Fridays whilst my son cooks the dinner. For a few short, glorious minutes, I thought, Yay! It’s Friday and I don’t have to do any cooking tonight.
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Dear Sarah,
You left me wanting to know more. The excerpt does stand alone. Although when an excerpt of mine doesn’t stand alone, I tweak it until it does. 😉 I think you’ll recognize the one I posted today and know where it comes in the book. (Shhhh! Don’t tell 😉 )
Back to your story. I’m intrigued by this character, presumably human (?), who doesn’t know what a baby is. Well done. And thank you for the marvelous photo.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Dear Rochelle,
Yes, he is human but has been raised in isolation from society. That’s all I’m going to say, though 😉
And no, I won’t tell about your excerpt.
I’m looking forward to reading everybody’s take on the photo prompt. This week, I must stretch time and attempt to read all the stories. At least I have started 2 days earlier than usual.
All best wishes,
Sarah
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Yep. It definitely stands alone… but I know I’ll enjoy it when I read the book, once it is published 😉
It does leave one wanting more, which is great!!
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You might have a bit of a wait to read this novel, as I’m going to have a go submitting it to publishers and agents, rather than go down the indie route. I don’t want to put all of my eggs in the indie basket, if at all possible. Either way, I’m pleased that my excerpt leaves you wanting more 🙂
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I’m a patient woman… 😉
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Ah good… finally put your link up! 😉
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See what happens when I do something on a different day from usual! The reason the link didn’t go up was because I was trying to get my head around inserting the blue frog on my blog and failing as usual, but then forgot to post my link. I like to think that I’m good at all things related to the computer, but for some reason I’m baffled by this, which probably means that it’s simple and I’m making it too complicated! Perhaps you can talk me through this, as I’m jealous of your blue frog 😉
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I will gladly help you with the frog!!
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Problem with the ability to reproduce in that world?
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Yes, there’s a huge problem.
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An excellent excerpt, do keep us up to date with news of the novel.
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Thank you, Iain 🙂 I will be shouting from the rooftops if a traditional publisher takes a vote of confidence in this novel. I indie published two of my novels as an experiment, but shouldering the full burden of marketing is very exhausting and prevents me from having time to write new things D:
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I agree Sarah, the marketing is exhausting, time consuming and quite often unsatisfactory! Best of luck with it.
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Thanks, Iain. And the same to you 🙂
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I have a special place in my heart for Magpies. I know they’re common, but two of them sat and watched and hung out at my late brother’s funeral a long while ago. Ever since then, I smile every time I see that word. 🙂
As for the story part, very intriguing! The will to survive…leave a legacy…no matter who or what. Very awesome!
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That’s a wonderful story about the two magpies at your brother’s funeral. I think they were telling you that he had gone to a joyful place, and not to worry about him 🙂
I guess that sentience combined with the animal instinct to reproduce, is a very powerful force indeed.
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Nice snippet, leaves me wanting to know more about this world they’re growing up in.
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Thank you:-) And you’ve sussed from that snippet that they’re young enough to still be classed as “growing up”.
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This is intriguing and I definitely want to know more.
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Am so glad you were intrigued and want to know more. That’s what I like to hear 🙂
And thank you for following my blog.
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Nice snippet. It does stand alone, yet leaves us wanting more.
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Excellent. I’m glad you wanted more 🙂
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This was a great photo prompt Sarah.
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Thank you, Louise 🙂
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I love an excerpt capable of telling its tale without any help, and this one does. We learn so much about both characters, and what we learn makes us want to know more about them.
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Thank you, Magaly. I’m so glad that this excerpt has made you want to know more about the characters 🙂
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Sarah, I, too, don’t understand desperation to make a baby. You make it real here. She seems unbalanced. It would be interesting to learn more about the character whose voice is telling the story. Nice work.
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Thank you, Honie. I guess she (Morag) is unbalanced, but extreme circumstances have had a part to play in this.
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I am really curious about a world where someone isn’t familiar with what babies look like. Even more intriguing was the idea he helped attempt to create one without having any full understanding of what it meant. It makes me wonder about the society he came from. Did she come from a different one?
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He has been raised in isolation. She has not. And neither of them have seen a baby in their lifetime, but she knows about them. That’s all I can say without giving too much away, as I would like people to read the book one day!
Thanks for commenting, Rommy. Sorry I’ve only just responded, but your comment went into “Spam”, so I’ve only just found it.
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Great photo and excellent excerpt it fits well and a great way to plug your new book.
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Thank you, Kim 🙂 I’m not anywhere near the stage of plugging the book, but I’m feeling most encouraged by people’s positive reaction to the excerpt.
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Intriguing voice. A definite advert for the book!
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Thank you 🙂 A slightly premature advert methinks, as it’s not in print yet, but I’m glad you found it intriguing.
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The not knowing about babies is really what making the snippet into a story for me… it makes me imagine what really had happened to put them in that dystopian setting.
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All will be revealed eventually. I finished writing the second draft of the novel, from which this excerpt comes, about 2 years ago and have sat on it ever since, worried that it’s too controversial D:
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In my mind your story raises that old question: when is a want legitimate and when does it cross over into obsession? I think this excerpt stands alone well.
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Very intriguing! Like several of the other commenters, I’m eager to find out more about these characters and the world they come from.
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Thank you, Magarisa 🙂 I’m so pleased that this intrigued you.
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My pleasure! 😊
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Your story, though complete in this Fri Fi world of ours, is a delicious appetizer. I look forward to your main course when it’s served.
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Thank you, Dawn. I’m so glad you enjoyed the appetizer 🙂 I will make sure to let you know when that main course is served!
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you have me intrigued! and I love the title Counting Magpies!
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Thank you, Cybele 🙂 I’m glad you love the title. I had a poll about this on my blog quite a while back, and “Counting Magpies” won by 78% over the alternative title of “His Seed”.
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Wow! Beautifully written. I thank you for this wonderful photograph. It certainly brought many interesting ideas to my head. I’ll be glad if you could give me your feedback on my take on your prompt.
https://yuhublogger.wordpress.com/2017/02/28/freezing-to-keep-warm/
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Thank you, so much, for your kind comment. I’m glad you liked my photo. I’ve finally got around to leaving some feedback on your extremely moving and sad story. It makes me appreciate how privileged I am, to have the freedom to take a snow photo in the middle of the night from my front garden, when there are people in some war torn parts of the world who are under strict curfew and would be shot dead if they went out in the night with their camera.
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Well, said. You are absolutely right. To live in a place without a war itself is paradise.
That photo was taken from your garden is it? Such a lovely locality.
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Because I live high up, during the daytime I can look over the rooftops to the sea. Of course, it looks extra beautiful — like some magical sparkling fairyland — on the rare occasions that it has snowed and I awake to a sunrise.
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Wow! You are super lucky!
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This stands alone, but draws you in, so you crave for more.
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Pretty cool. Unique idea mixed within characters. Well-done, Sarah!
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Thank you, Kent 🙂 I love those words “pretty cool” applied to my writing!
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Love this Sarah – vivid writing and the concept behind it is very intriguing.
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Thank you, Andrea, for your positive and encouraging comment 🙂
My novel “Counting Magpies” is different from the other two you’ve read. It’s more complex, serious, and mature but, needless to say, it still comes under the heading of “quirky”!
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I felt that more melancholy feeling, but I do love melancholy 🙂
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I agree Andrea!
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Thank you, Sherri 🙂
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🙂
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Ahh dearest Sarah, at last I got here! And wow is all I can say, look at your wonderful response! It definitely stands alone yet also has me wanting to know much more about the two characters and the world in which they live…I’ve been intrigued by the concept of this story from the start as you know, and even more so now! I think you’re onto a winner here! 🙂 xxxx
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Dearest Sherri, you’ve made my day. You are always so encouraging. I hope and pray that I’m onto a winner this time … 5th time lucky and all that. Overnight successes are quite rare in reality. Nobody sees the years of blood, sweat, and tears that often precede big successes. xxxx
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Oh I’m so glad, I mean every word. You work so hard and have done for years…5th time lucky I will be hoping and praying with you my dear friend! xxxx
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Enjoyed this. Has the book been published yet?
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Thank you 🙂 No, it hasn’t been published yet. Presently two publishers have had the full manuscript for several months, but I have to be patient! If there are no takers, I guess I’ll indie publish it, but am not too keen as I hate being responsible for all the marketing and would need to learn to do better than I have done with my other two books that are for a younger audience. I would be much happier marketing under a publisher’s guidance, rather than by the trial and error method!
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I hear you. Keep plugging at it. Never give up. My daughter and I are co-authoring a book now.
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I will never give up. I’m not officially signed up for NaNoWriMo. My son is signing up, too. It wouldn’t work us co-authoring, as we write in slightly different genres (I tend more towards speculative/science fiction and he towards dark fantasy), but we do a lot of discussing of plots and characters, beta-reading and editing of each other’s work, which works very well. We are very honest with each other and neither of us get offended by constructive criticism.
What sort of book are you and your daughter working on?
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Our book is a collaboration in the form of a lot of Q and A both ways for a look at our spirituality which varies very much from Christianity, but is still God-based.
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I think there are a lot of people in this world who possess great spirituality, but can’t stand to see God shrink-wrapped and packaged to fit the tight boundaries of formal religion. Note that I use the word “religion” rather than “faith”. I see life as a long search for the truth, and living in the hope of finding it. Whether humans are equipped in this lifetime to understand the truth, even if it was staring them in the face, is another question. Your book sounds interesting 🙂
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It will take awhile, but I do like it. Right now, my favorites are “Conversations With God Book 1” – Neal Donald Walsh and E2 or E-squared by Pam Grout…another of hers – “Thank and Grow Rich” is new and wonderful!
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I’ll check them out. Thanks for the recommendations 🙂
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By the way, here would have been my entry- missed the deadline:
https://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2017/10/12/you-dont-know-jack/
Scott
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Thanks 🙂 I’ve read and commented over at yours.
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Thanks. You are great!
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🙂
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