Sarah Potter Writes

Pursued by the Muses of prose and poetry

Friday Fictioneers — Snow Baby

This week I’m going to post my 100-word story for Friday Fictioneers on a Wednesday, which is what many of the other participants do anyway! Many thanks to our wonderful hostess, Rochelle, for using my snow picture as the photo prompt.

My story is an excerpt from my unpublished fifth novel, Counting Magpies, which is presently in the hands of my beta-reader-in-chief. There’s quite a bit of snow in this novel, but I selected this short passage, which works as a standalone, too … I hope.

PHOTO PROMPT © Sarah Potter

Genre: Dystopian speculative fiction

Word count: 100

SNOW BABY

I’m her scapegoat for all that has gone wrong in our world.

When she bled a fortnight ago, after three months of believing herself with child, her wailing and lamenting crushed me. I don’t understand her desperation to make a baby. Until yesterday, I didn’t even know what babies looked like.

She drew a picture of one in the snow and told me that’s how we both started out, with tiny round faces and miniature toes and fingers. “I can’t remember being a baby,” I’d said, to which she’d replied, “Neither can I, but I crave motherhood more than anything.”

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79 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers — Snow Baby

  1. The power of suggestion…you had me checking the calendar even thought I was certain it was still Wednesday. LOL I love these little shorts, so carry on, no matter what day it is.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dear Sarah,

    You left me wanting to know more. The excerpt does stand alone. Although when an excerpt of mine doesn’t stand alone, I tweak it until it does. 😉 I think you’ll recognize the one I posted today and know where it comes in the book. (Shhhh! Don’t tell 😉 )
    Back to your story. I’m intrigued by this character, presumably human (?), who doesn’t know what a baby is. Well done. And thank you for the marvelous photo.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Rochelle,
      Yes, he is human but has been raised in isolation from society. That’s all I’m going to say, though 😉
      And no, I won’t tell about your excerpt.
      I’m looking forward to reading everybody’s take on the photo prompt. This week, I must stretch time and attempt to read all the stories. At least I have started 2 days earlier than usual.
      All best wishes,
      Sarah

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Yep. It definitely stands alone… but I know I’ll enjoy it when I read the book, once it is published 😉
    It does leave one wanting more, which is great!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ah good… finally put your link up! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • See what happens when I do something on a different day from usual! The reason the link didn’t go up was because I was trying to get my head around inserting the blue frog on my blog and failing as usual, but then forgot to post my link. I like to think that I’m good at all things related to the computer, but for some reason I’m baffled by this, which probably means that it’s simple and I’m making it too complicated! Perhaps you can talk me through this, as I’m jealous of your blue frog 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Problem with the ability to reproduce in that world?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. An excellent excerpt, do keep us up to date with news of the novel.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I have a special place in my heart for Magpies. I know they’re common, but two of them sat and watched and hung out at my late brother’s funeral a long while ago. Ever since then, I smile every time I see that word. 🙂
    As for the story part, very intriguing! The will to survive…leave a legacy…no matter who or what. Very awesome!

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s a wonderful story about the two magpies at your brother’s funeral. I think they were telling you that he had gone to a joyful place, and not to worry about him 🙂
      I guess that sentience combined with the animal instinct to reproduce, is a very powerful force indeed.

      Like

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  9. Nice snippet, leaves me wanting to know more about this world they’re growing up in.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. This is intriguing and I definitely want to know more.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Nice snippet. It does stand alone, yet leaves us wanting more.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. This was a great photo prompt Sarah.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I love an excerpt capable of telling its tale without any help, and this one does. We learn so much about both characters, and what we learn makes us want to know more about them.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Sarah, I, too, don’t understand desperation to make a baby. You make it real here. She seems unbalanced. It would be interesting to learn more about the character whose voice is telling the story. Nice work.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I am really curious about a world where someone isn’t familiar with what babies look like. Even more intriguing was the idea he helped attempt to create one without having any full understanding of what it meant. It makes me wonder about the society he came from. Did she come from a different one?

    Like

    • He has been raised in isolation. She has not. And neither of them have seen a baby in their lifetime, but she knows about them. That’s all I can say without giving too much away, as I would like people to read the book one day!

      Thanks for commenting, Rommy. Sorry I’ve only just responded, but your comment went into “Spam”, so I’ve only just found it.

      Like

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  17. Great photo and excellent excerpt it fits well and a great way to plug your new book.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Intriguing voice. A definite advert for the book!

    Liked by 1 person

  19. The not knowing about babies is really what making the snippet into a story for me… it makes me imagine what really had happened to put them in that dystopian setting.

    Liked by 1 person

    • All will be revealed eventually. I finished writing the second draft of the novel, from which this excerpt comes, about 2 years ago and have sat on it ever since, worried that it’s too controversial D:

      Like

  20. In my mind your story raises that old question: when is a want legitimate and when does it cross over into obsession? I think this excerpt stands alone well.

    Like

  21. Very intriguing! Like several of the other commenters, I’m eager to find out more about these characters and the world they come from.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Your story, though complete in this Fri Fi world of ours, is a delicious appetizer. I look forward to your main course when it’s served.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. you have me intrigued! and I love the title Counting Magpies!

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Wow! Beautifully written. I thank you for this wonderful photograph. It certainly brought many interesting ideas to my head. I’ll be glad if you could give me your feedback on my take on your prompt.
    https://yuhublogger.wordpress.com/2017/02/28/freezing-to-keep-warm/

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, so much, for your kind comment. I’m glad you liked my photo. I’ve finally got around to leaving some feedback on your extremely moving and sad story. It makes me appreciate how privileged I am, to have the freedom to take a snow photo in the middle of the night from my front garden, when there are people in some war torn parts of the world who are under strict curfew and would be shot dead if they went out in the night with their camera.

      Liked by 1 person

  25. This stands alone, but draws you in, so you crave for more.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Pretty cool. Unique idea mixed within characters. Well-done, Sarah!

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Love this Sarah – vivid writing and the concept behind it is very intriguing.

    Liked by 2 people

  28. Ahh dearest Sarah, at last I got here! And wow is all I can say, look at your wonderful response! It definitely stands alone yet also has me wanting to know much more about the two characters and the world in which they live…I’ve been intrigued by the concept of this story from the start as you know, and even more so now! I think you’re onto a winner here! 🙂 xxxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dearest Sherri, you’ve made my day. You are always so encouraging. I hope and pray that I’m onto a winner this time … 5th time lucky and all that. Overnight successes are quite rare in reality. Nobody sees the years of blood, sweat, and tears that often precede big successes. xxxx

      Liked by 1 person

      • Oh I’m so glad, I mean every word. You work so hard and have done for years…5th time lucky I will be hoping and praying with you my dear friend! xxxx

        Liked by 1 person

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  31. Enjoyed this. Has the book been published yet?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you 🙂 No, it hasn’t been published yet. Presently two publishers have had the full manuscript for several months, but I have to be patient! If there are no takers, I guess I’ll indie publish it, but am not too keen as I hate being responsible for all the marketing and would need to learn to do better than I have done with my other two books that are for a younger audience. I would be much happier marketing under a publisher’s guidance, rather than by the trial and error method!

      Liked by 1 person

      • I hear you. Keep plugging at it. Never give up. My daughter and I are co-authoring a book now.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I will never give up. I’m not officially signed up for NaNoWriMo. My son is signing up, too. It wouldn’t work us co-authoring, as we write in slightly different genres (I tend more towards speculative/science fiction and he towards dark fantasy), but we do a lot of discussing of plots and characters, beta-reading and editing of each other’s work, which works very well. We are very honest with each other and neither of us get offended by constructive criticism.
        What sort of book are you and your daughter working on?

        Liked by 1 person

      • Our book is a collaboration in the form of a lot of Q and A both ways for a look at our spirituality which varies very much from Christianity, but is still God-based.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I think there are a lot of people in this world who possess great spirituality, but can’t stand to see God shrink-wrapped and packaged to fit the tight boundaries of formal religion. Note that I use the word “religion” rather than “faith”. I see life as a long search for the truth, and living in the hope of finding it. Whether humans are equipped in this lifetime to understand the truth, even if it was staring them in the face, is another question. Your book sounds interesting 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • It will take awhile, but I do like it. Right now, my favorites are “Conversations With God Book 1” – Neal Donald Walsh and E2 or E-squared by Pam Grout…another of hers – “Thank and Grow Rich” is new and wonderful!

        Liked by 1 person

      • I’ll check them out. Thanks for the recommendations 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  32. By the way, here would have been my entry- missed the deadline:
    https://kindredspirit23.wordpress.com/2017/10/12/you-dont-know-jack/
    Scott

    Liked by 1 person

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