Friday Fictioneers — Unholy Epitaph

Genre: Dark humor
Word Count: 100

~~UNHOLY EPITAPH~~

hic iacet sepultus

DOMINIC SEAMUS HEGGARTY
a gardener who loved Nature minus Man.

Born in Islington, June 13th 1836
Died December 27th 1891

Bastard son of Michael de Humpe, VIIIth Earl of Stitchbury
 who cavorted with Molly Frimble, an unfortunate, and contracted the French disease and died most horribly of raging insanity,
thereby bestowing upon his beloved illegitimate son nothing of note other than an unconsecrated burial plot at the far end of his Estate,
for when his own time of passing came, alongside Molly,
dispatched to the afterlife by Lady Stitchbury in a fit of apoplexy.

requiescant in pace

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Friday Fictioneers: 100 word stories
Photo Prompt: copyright © Liz Young

 

Author: Sarah Potter Writes

Sarah is a British eccentric who writes offbeat fiction, haiku and tanka poetry. When stuck for words, she sketches or paints instead. She's into nature conservation, sustainability, gardening, dogs, natural health, and reading. Her sociability is something that happens in short bursts with long breathing spaces in between.

41 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers — Unholy Epitaph”

  1. This was hilariously great, Sarah! You said you were going funny but I was certainly not expecting something of this sort! Loved it!

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      1. Did I overdo it?
        I was very entertained by it. I have often said it would be more entertaining, at times, to know the real story…

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Of course you didn’t overdo it. I was just teasing you. Your enthusiasm is a delight to behold 🙂 I loved our three-way girl’s chat yesterday. It was such fun and really cheered me up.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. It was fun indeed. We seem to always find a laugh (once we properly connect) 😉
        Yeah… I can be enthusiastic…

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Dear Rochelle,
      See, I have a big smile 😀 I’m so happy that you and Dale loved this story. And I did promise not to write anything miserable…
      Yesterday was such fun. My son commented that I sounded as if I was enjoying myself, with all the chatter and laughter coming from Skype.
      All best wishes,
      Sarah

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    1. Yes, indeed, they are mightily foul afflictions! Some of the Victorian names for things were so entertaining, especially when they were trying to find respectable terminology to describe non-respectable things.

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    1. It’s my mission just now, to cheer up people (and cheer myself, too) with quirky humour. I can’t guarantee that every week the literary muse will react that way to the prompts, but I’ve managed 3 weeks of humour so far!

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    1. I used to be a bit of a serial epitaph reader in graveyards. Occasionally some of them contained a hint of wry humour. My daughter has told me that she wants “It seemed like a good idea at the time” inscribed on her grave when the time comes!

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    1. In answer to your question, Tracey, it probably depends upon whether it was the “law” for people’s transgressions to be written on their tombstones. I would hate the thought of the self-righteous coming along and having a sneer at the mistakes of people less perfect than them D:

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    1. I think that Victorian women of the noble classes, were meant to turn a blind eye to their husband’s lapses into immorality. Just as well the Earl of Stitchbury didn’t infect his wife with the French Disease he’d contracted, as I’m sure that some straying husbands did!

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