Sarah Potter Writes

Pursued by the Muses of prose, poetry, and music.

Friday Fictioneers — Him with the Dog collar

Genre: Humour
Word count: 100

~~HIM WITH THE DOG COLLAR~~

Susanna thought her husband, the Reverend, the worst public speaker in the universe. Whenever he climbed into the pulpit, he underwent a personality change: those unfunny anecdotes, the sepulchral voice, and the platitudes.

To cure her boredom, Susanna thought not of God but of shoes. Even vicars’ wives like to dream about shoes, especially in Lent when temptation expands in proportion to self-denial. Sometimes her frustration spilled over into an angry confession, and the Reverend told her, “It’s the Devil who distracts you with shoes, my dear.”

True, she couldn’t wear her sandals anymore due to her feet turning cloven.

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Friday Fictioneers: 100 word stories
Photo Prompt: copyright © Magaly Guerrero

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53 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers — Him with the Dog collar

  1. So clever and funny you are! I loved this; definitely had me laughing…great line “temptation expands in proportion to self-denial.” Isn’t that the truth? Always has been for me.

    You’ve entertained for the day. Go enjoy the rest of it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “The devil wears Prada.” 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dear Sarah,

    You really twisted that story with the last line. You left me open-mouthed and quivering with laughter. Clever and funny indeed. 😀

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dear Rochelle,
      I always so enjoy making you laugh, but hope I didn’t cause you to spill your coffee! There’s something in the air at the moment that’s compelling me to write funny rather than dark stories. I guess it’s a sort of madness come over me that helps me banish my potential blues over how surreal the world has been of late. Who knows?
      All best wishes,
      Sarah

      Like

  4. Lovely Easter story, Sarah

    Liked by 1 person

  5. michael1148humphris on said:

    If only I had read your story sooner, how much easier it would have been to listen to some monologues 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  6. That had me laugh out loud, too. Didn’t see it coming, great fun.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. The laughter in this story is infectious. Well written, Sarah.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Thank you for the very welcomed cackles, dearest Sarah. You completely set me up, and the end landed deliciously on the non-paining bit of my funny bone.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Magaly. With glee, I hear your cackles 🙂 The end came as a surprise to me, too. I love being a pantser rather than a plotter when it comes to writing, as it’s such fun when my fictional characters hit me with a twist I wasn’t expecting.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Being raised Catholic, I remember letting my mind take me ANYWHERE during sermons. Too young for thoughts of high heels, though. Great take on the prompt.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. You crack me up, Sarah. I need to start taking humor lessons from you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hey Russell, what a compliment from the King of Humor! I’m glad my humor doesn’t seem to get me into trouble as much as it did in my school days. I was raised on a Brit diet of Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, Jaspar Carrot, and Dave Allen. I’m guessing this had a big influence.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I’m sure it did. I watched a lot of those same shows. Probably my biggest influence though was the cartoons I watched as kid. Shows like Rocky & Bullwinkle, Underdog, and Popeye had a lot of underlying adult humor.

        They say you are what you eat. The same is true for what your brain ingests. At least that’s my excuse.

        Liked by 1 person

  11. Sunshine Jansen on said:

    I ought to check for my own cloven feet; the sight of those shoes instantly provoked the cardinal sin of Envy… 🙂 As does your flair for stories that end in the perfect punch! p.s. my new site is up; hopefully I’ll be adding more to it soon!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I am sure this is true for many a vicar’s wife. And for many a vicar, too. I love you little story.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Life Lessons of a Dog Lover on said:

    I didn’t expect that twist at the end. Good story.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. A brilliant spin. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Such a clever take on the prompt. Loved it.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. You really made me grin. Love the off-hand way you delivered the last line. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Great ending which I didn’t see coming so couldn’t help the loud laugh. Great writing

    Liked by 1 person

  18. That’s a killer of a last line! How does she hide her cloven hooves in the bedroom?

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Great ending Sarah, I loved the secret shoe dreaming but wasn’t expecting that 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Wonderful story. Enjoyed the Lenten build of tension: denial causing more temptation. And shoes are necessary rather than frivolous so why not dream about them? If the sermons weren’t so long….

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Sarah 🙂 Indeed, shoes are necessary, although when you’re dreaming of buying up every shoe in your size, in every colour, in every shop you can think of, then you have a problem … and so does the vicar, unless he cuts down his sermons to one minute only 😉

      Like

  21. I just realised my comment done distappeared!
    I love your stories, Sarah. Long sermons and dreaming our way through them… but cloven feet? Was not expecting that one!!

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Dreaming about shoes? I would never be bored enough to dream about that, but to each her own. 😉 Nice one!

    Liked by 1 person

  23. A wonderfully seasonal piece that made me smile.

    Liked by 1 person

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