Sarah Potter Writes

Pursued by the Muses of prose, poetry, and music.

An Ecological Haiku

Vapour clouds up high…

We scribble the world’s future

with metal crayons.

PB030006  Tracks of doom

PB030006 Tracks of doom (Photo credit: northdevonfarmer)

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17 thoughts on “An Ecological Haiku

  1. Very nice. Specific, evocative, and not susceptible to a purely intellectual paraphrase. Right where I like poetry to be. Although — forgive the editorial intrusion — I feel a period would work better than the ellipsis at the end of the first line.

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    • Thanks, Peter. I’m glad you liked my haiku. Comment away about punctuation. I’m getting a dose of my own medicine for once;-)

      I adopted the ellipsis at the end of the first line when I first started writing this form, having looked at some famous Japanese haikus. Of course, these might have been placed there later at the quirk of a particular editor. I’ll look into the subject further, and see what else I can find. I appreciate you pointing it out.

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      • This is a very controversial subject. Does it even need a period. Japanese haiku does not use punctuation. I tend to shy away from it and I think it is only my English upbringing that makes me put a capital letter at the start and a full stop at the end. If I was really brave I would use no punctuation at all.

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  2. A very nice piece, thank you very much – some times I have to ration my daughter when she is in a crazy scribbling mood – she uses up reams of paper and the bin gets overloaded.

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    • Thanks, dear Bunny.

      If only people would ration their holidays to places nearer at home, and more international business was conducted via Skype, then the sky wouldn’t get overloaded with fall-out from jets.

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  3. That is really clever and profound. Very well written, Sarah.

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    • Thanks, Naomi.

      It’s not one of my most uplifting haikus, but it needs saying and what better way than through haiku – the few syllables discourage any descent into preachiness or patronisation.

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      • There is an exhilaration one feels when one’s words strike the chord, whether as a writer or a reader. I felt it as a reader, and I sure hope you did as a writer, because they were perfect. Sometimes you have to say what you have to say, and not every book has a happy ending or a peachy tone to it. Those are the books or poems that change the world.

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  4. This would make a great poster for earth day!

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  5. I’m a bit slow today. I didn’t quite understand it until I saw the photo. Then it made blindingly bright sense.

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  6. Hi Sarah, I am nominating you for the Versatile Blogger award. I have really enjoyed your blog.

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    • Thank you so much. What an honour. You’ve really cheered me up. I’m thrilled you enjoy my blog enough to bestow an award on me 😀

      I’m slightly out of commission today, re heavy computer use, but will do my Versatile Blogger post as soon as possible in the next few days.

      I’ve just had a cataract operation on my right eye this morning, so have a dressing covering it. And my left eye is really short-sighted, so life will be one big blur until I can take my dressing off tomorrow. The good news is, that when they do the cataract in my other eye (probably 2 years from now), I can be made to have near-perfect sight and will only have to wear glasses for reading. Yay. Happy me 🙂

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      • Hi Sarah,
        I hope you are feeling better soon. Don’t worry about a thing except recovering. I wish you a swift one. All the best, Naomi

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  7. Really good! Am enjoying your haiku very much!

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