Friday Fictioneers — Dressed Trout

Genre: Dark humour
Word count: 100

DRESSED TROUT

“You, madam, have fatally overstepped the mark.”

“Leb be bout!”

Silly old trout. Dose of y’ own medicine. Enter the zone of a faceless nobody without a voice, hands tied by The System. …Except now you’re at the mercy of My System. “Madam, you called me ‘boy’ again today and shouted at me in front of the customers. My job is to stack the freezers, not spend hours helping you choose wine so all my ice cream melts.”

“Bolice! Boy’s a bycho.”

“Too right, I’m a psycho. Now an officially jobless one with infinite time on his hands for torture.

#

Friday Fictioneers: 100 word stories
Photo Prompt: image copyright (c) Liz Young

Author: Sarah Potter Writes

Sarah is a British eccentric who writes offbeat fiction, haiku and tanka poetry. When stuck for words, she sketches or paints instead. She's into nature conservation, sustainability, gardening, dogs, natural health, and reading. Her sociability is something that happens in short bursts with long breathing spaces in between.

45 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers — Dressed Trout”

    1. Dear Rochelle,

      Thanks. I’m pleased it appealed to your sense of humour. And my story is in good or, rather, deranged company if it brings to mind those two ‘beauties’!

      Sorry I haven’t made it for Skyping today, but at least I’ve managed FF, so that’s progress. Let me know when you and Dale are free next week. I can’t do Tuesday, but am not too booked up otherwise at the moment.

      All best wishes,
      Sarah

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      1. Was wondering about the Skyping session 😉 Hadn’t heard anything!
        I’m away Monday till Thursday and on Friday I only start work at 4pm… so if you ladies are curious about my getaway… 😉

        Liked by 1 person

  5. That brings new meaning to the term “customer service.” lol great fun in a sick, demented sort of way. 🙂

    Thoroughly enjoyed this….thanks for the chuckle on this Friday morning.

    If you should happen to see our President, spit at him for me, would you please.

    Have a superior weekend, dear friend!

    bill

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    1. I know you appreciate sick, demented characters, Bill 🙂 Odd that you mention your President in the next breath, although not with a chuckle I’m sure 😉 He’s not coming anywhere near our neighbourhood. We have a service station up the road that sells Russian fuel. Hah! He’ll definitely boycott us, for being under Russian control.

      I’ll have a superior weekend, if I have nothing to do with politicians.

      You have a wonderful, politician-free weekend, too, my dear friend 🙂 🙂

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  7. You can only get away with mistreating people so often… all have a breaking point. Poor “Boy” has reached his limit and one really must give him an “A” for effort, no? 😀

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    1. Some people have no insight into their own selfishness, rudeness, and arrogance. Then they are surprised when just once in a while, one of their ‘victims’ flips. Methinks, in the case of my psychopath, that the dressed trout will not be given a chance to mend her ways!

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    1. A wide smile is good 🙂 I was a regular on Friday Fictioneers until last November, when I had to stay focused writing 50K words of the first draft of a novel in National Novel Writing Month. Then I had to write another 35K words to get to the end, plus catching up with all the work I’d cast aside all that time. So then I was exhausted and my literary muse departed me for several months and has only just returned this week. I hope to contribute more regularly to FF again, although soon have to tackle the second draft of the novel but at a slightly more measured pace.

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      2. I’m not sure yet. Whatever I decide, it will need at least five rewrites before I’m satisfied with it! I have written six novels and experimented self-publishing two of them. If interested, you can read the story of my writing journey on my blog’s “About” page, and find out more about the two self-published novels on my “Publications” page (links in my sidebar). I write shamelessly offbeat, cross-genre stuff. Presently, I’m trying to place my 5th novel with publishers, as I’ve found marketing a nightmare with the self-published novels and would rather work with a publisher on this front. I’ve done nothing about promotion for about nine months, but am thinking about giving Amazon Direct Marketing a shot when I’ve finished listening to an online course about how to set it up.

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  17. Oh I adore your wicked sense of humour…I’m laughing out loud at this, brilliant! There are one or two deserving types I can think of, such as the very rude person in Waitrose who obviously thought she was far more important than anybody else 😀 Love it, dearest Sarah, just love it! ❤ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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    1. Funny you should mention Waitrose… I love the produce sold in that store, but I’ve come across some very arrogant/selfish customers there from time to time. I’m sure that the majority are fine — it just takes one bad egg to inspire a story! I’m so pleased you adored my wicked sense of humour in this story, dearest Sherri xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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      1. Ha…yes, always that one bad egg amongst the good ones 😉 I love Waitrose too, but we only have a small one in the nearby town of Sherborne. Oh I do, I do, dearest Sarah! Roll on the next one! Love & hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxx

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