Friday Fictioneers — Nineteen years later

Many thanks to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for choosing one of my pictures as the Photo Prompt for Friday Fictioneers this week.

Last week, some of you will remember that I wrote some alternate lyrics to the song “The Teddy Bears’ Picnic” but, because of the 100-word restriction, had to end mid-verse and complete my word count with the promise of a further instalment for this week. Well I meant that as a joke, but a few people said they were looking forward to Part II, so here it is!

For those who missed “The Crazy Bears’ Battle” last week and wonder what on earth is happening below, here’s the link. And please feel free to sing along to both instalments.

Genre: Alternative song lyrics
Words: 100

THE TOMBOY AND HOMICIDAL DOLL’S VENGEANCE

If grown lads go to the potting shed
They’re in for a huge surprise
If grown lads go to the potting shed
It could end in their demise. 

For every year since skiving from school
They’ve met up there for certain
Because today’s the day they
Commemorate that battle. 

Laughter time for lazy louts.
The pot-smoking hillbillies are having
A dopey time today.

Watch that doll creep up on them
And see her snaggle-teeth go clickety-clack. 

See her bite the lads with glee.
They’re off their heads alright,
They never feel a thing…

Epilogue: ‘Rich Compost For The Asparagus Bed’

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To read other Friday Fictioneers’ stories for this week, or to add a 100-word story of your own, please click on the blue frog below.

 

Author: Sarah Potter Writes

Sarah is a British eccentric who writes offbeat fiction, haiku and tanka poetry. When stuck for words, she sketches or paints instead. She's into nature conservation, sustainability, gardening, dogs, natural health, and reading. Her sociability is something that happens in short bursts with long breathing spaces in between.

47 thoughts on “Friday Fictioneers — Nineteen years later”

  1. I’m not a big fan of dolls to begin with, and now I’m thinking they just might be evil! LOL Great 100 words….my goodness, do I really want a potting shed after all that? I think not!

    Great fun, Sarah. I love your mind.

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    1. Did you ever see the 1968 science fiction film “Barbarella”? I bet your parents didn’t let you watch it 😉 Those killer dolls … so freaky. I’ve always been quite scared of dolls really, especially porcelain ones, as they’re so cold to the touch, like corpses. I once saw a Victorian ghost story on TV and there was an evil porcelain doll in it that completely freaked me out.

      Talk about writing about your worst fears. I challenge you, Bill, to have something about dolls in one of your scary books!

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  5. I will never be able to listen to Teddy Bear’s Picnic in quite the same way ever again after reading your two-parter dearest Sarah! I am already frightened enough by evil dolls…and actually, I think I will be checking my compost more carefully from now on too! Great photo…really love it. A potting shed ripe for a Victorian ghost story methinks! Lovely to read you again my friend 🙂 xxxx

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    1. You know my daughter used to collect porcelain dolls. They’d all be lined up on her bed with cold white faces and glassy eyes. I had to be very brave going into her room! You never know what’s hidden in that compost, Sherri. The epilogue title about the asparagus bed was inspired by a story that Mister told me about a farmer who buried a dead cow under his asparagus bed and grew the best crop ever! The photo was of the potting shed at our allotment in the early days before I weeded it and had a tidy up. Lovely to see you surfacing for a blog visit, my dear friend 🙂 Love and hugs xxxx

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      1. Oh no…those porcelain dolls petrify me! It is precisely their ‘cold white faces and glassy eyes’ that you describe so perfectly that does it. As if they’re watching your every move…yikes! You were very brave indeed! What a great story about the asparagus bed and the cow…I will not be able to stop thinking about that now and perhaps wonder at the flavour when I next have some 😉 Love the old potting shed…and lovely to see you again dearest Sarah, with love and hugs as always 🙂 xxxx

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      2. Dearest Sherri, one thing I’ve learned from people’s reactions to this post is that I’m not alone in my fear of porcelain dolls. As a child, I remember a book of Victorian dolls that spooked me. Do you recall those large hardback books with tissue paper pages between the pictures? Some of those dolls needed hiding very fast behind the tissue paper D: With regard to asparagus, if it’s extra tasty you’ll know that there’s a body involved 😉 Love and hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxx

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      3. Yes I do remember those books! I didn’t like those either! Oh Sarah, I am still dancing with you about your amazing news from yesterday. I won’t say here as it’s not for me to let the cat out of the bag as I’m sure you will want to let your dear readers know 🙂 It sure beats thinking about a body making asparagus tasting better, ha! Thrilled for you my dear friend ❤ xxxxxxx

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      4. Dearest Sherri, thank you for your enthusiasm 🙂 I have mentioned the news on my blog now, beneath a tanka poem I posted yesterday. So no problem. The cat is out of its bag and joyously miaowing at the top of its voice 😉 Love and hugs, Sarah xxxxxxxx

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  7. I can get back to comment now, having been busy all day. Well I am gonna try but the homicidal doll is cracking me up too much. I LOVE it. And I love the bit about the teeth. Sarah you have excelled yourself may I say. xxxxxx

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      1. Your sense of humour is the same as my sense of humour…that wee bit off the wall, so I absolutely am ending myself again here seeing this. Truly. I just keep imagining that doll and let’s face it some dolls sure are odd.

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  8. There was a time when that song was embedded in my mind and right now it’s playing again. I like this new version for the Dads (and Moms). Do you also want to take on Bananas in Pyjamas?

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    1. I’m glad you like the new version! As for Bananas in Pyjamas, I would have to give that some thought. I guess it could start,
      “Onions with bunions, hobbling down the stairs” or “Red Chillies in hot frillies…” Maybe I ought to stop there 😉

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    1. Thank you, Cybele 🙂 Give me teddy bears any day. One of the earliest photos of me is when I’m about 18 months old and sitting next to my teddy bear (who’s the same size as me) on a picnic rug in a field. He was so lovely — a light flaxen brown, plump, and with a bell in his tummy 🙂

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      1. I had hoped I would be writing, but it has been pretty busy making the transition — which is good. It should slow down a little soon. I’ll be back, no worry, no hurry. 😀

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      2. Huge apologies and a degree of contrition here … I called you Ken in a comment, rather than Kent. I don’t know if it was a typo or a senior moment, but during a lucid moment I realised my mistake. It was very gentlemanly of you not to say anything about it 🙂

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      3. Amazing! You know, you’re the first person to actually acknowledge this. All the time I have people who spell it Ken and not Kent and I don’t know why. I thought it was a Spanish thing b/c the Spaniards and Mexicans aren’t, apparently, used to names ending with consonants. On the other hand, there are people who I have known for years — for YEARS and they STILL spell it Ken.
        I have no clue.
        Anyway, thanks for the heads-up. It could be spell check likes to say Ken more times than Kent (unless it’s in the context of Superman). 😀

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  12. Thanks for the great pictures that led to so many good stories this week. This is chilling, Sarah. It reminds me of that movie about the haunted boy doll they show once in a while on TV. I think it’s called “Chucky”. I’ve never had the nerve to watch it but have seen it advertised. Good writing. 🙂 — Suzanne

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    1. I’m pleased you liked my picture, Suzanne 🙂 It’s always fascinating to see the wide variety of stories prompted by each weeks’ photos, but particularly so, if your’re the one who has provided the picture and are familiar with its setting.

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